Dotty made her presence known about two weeks ago when she chewed through the foam blocking off the exposed part of the window that wasn’t being taken up by my air conditioner. is was four inches of solid foam. like the shit you see on the walls of recording studios.

i arrived home to find her on my duvet, chewing it to hell. afraid that i would scare her anywhere else other than the way she came in, i was at first cautious. she eventually left, but didn’t scurry away. instead, she went to the adjacent window and watched in disgust and hatred as i cleaned up the mess she made and patched up the gap in the window with a piece of plexiglas.

in all honesty, i felt bad about the whole thing. she was just curious, she didn’t doodie on anything, she didn’t freak out and scratch up my dvds; overall, it was an adventure for her. so, before i sealed up the gap, i left a good few handfuls of cheerios on the window sill, of which, she enjoyed.

a few days passed, and life seemed to return to normal. each afternoon, i would return home to dotty, on my window sill and simply doing the things squirrels do. it was a perfectly harmless relationship. then one day…

ATTACK!

Dotty lunged at me. she began crawling all over my window screen, jumping and slashing her little tiny claws at anything she could possibly hit. what did i do? where did i go wrong? i gave her food and this is how she repays me?

this all gave me pause. now, i know the animals were here first, and they actually work to stay alive whereas for humans it’s a complete luxury that’s simply an added benefit of having ample trigger-fingers. but maybe dotty has a point – animals and human should switch places for a year. just pull a freaky friday and make them pay the bills for a change. the roadways would become useless, the stock market would be the cuddliest place on earth, and the careboys would debut to ratings of an unfathomable degree.

until that day arrives, please to enjoy…

• trot
• topy
• trophy
• tory
• toyr
• kahn

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so, the dark knight is being released in theaters this friday. i myself will be joined by rita b and justin h and tyler s in the midnight screening at the lagoon landmark theater. excited is the best term for what i’m feeling. it certainly doesn’t reach the boil of can’t-wait-ness i had preceding the first and second spider-man films (the third was, in all honesty, a disaster), but i’m still looking forward to the caped crusader’s return.

until two somewhat harsh reviews given by david edlestein and david denby, it had received a 100% rating on rotten tomatoes. an impressive feat, even if it did only last for two weeks. but james moore, a fellow comedy sportz compatriots did note that the only negative reviews have come from critics residing in new york. odd. perhaps cooincidence, but still… odd.

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a squirrel got into my apartment a week ago. i arrived home after an exhausting day at the very least, and found the creature on the lower left corner of my bed. it had chewed through the foam that was filling in the gap in the window left by my air conditioner, then started to tear apart my duvet. i don’t hate comforters, i just get wicked hot most nights, and would prefer a thin blanket with a little weight to it. and that thing costs $40. a blanket = $40. i must be nuts.

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i’m in a show for the next two weeks called Stare Down: A Quentin Tarantino Make ‘Em Up at the bryant lake bowl. it’s, as anyone could guess, an improvised Tarantino movie. borrowing heavily from Reservoir Dogs, the structure lends itself to the grace of uttering lines of dialog with unspeakable subject matter and letting derogatory terms roll of your tongue without batting an eye. all in all, it’s a fun place to go as an actor.

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this movie rocks.